Don't Count Your Eggs..

Well, we made it. The children were amazing in the car, but my little one wouldn't let me put her down the entire time we were gone. So, needless to say, it was not a 'vacation' by the essence of the word, but it was a good time and the kids enjoyed seeing their grandpa.

Before I left with the kids, as a family we walked our field and cleaned out the bird boxes. So many treasures and also pain. We found a wasps nest, an unhatched sparrows egg. A dead sparrow. New, probably arrived alittle too early this spring and froze. In the blue bird's box we found two tiny pale blue eggs, one intact unhatched, and the other broken, but not a successful fertilization. Now I know where the phrase 'Don't count your chickens before they hatch.' comes from.

Yesterday morning, before the house was up, I received a phone call that one of my classmates from high school had passed away suddenly. The phone rang for quite awhile and there was a lot of hashing through old memories and many ghosts came flying from the closets. My mother came over and I went to a funeral for a 33 year old woman. Probably the saddest funeral I have been too, as it didn't make much sense and there was no relief in sight for the family. I left quickly, not wanted to go back to that place of adolescence. It was not an overly happy time in my life and I'm trying very hard to make the shift of mind to the 'now' and to the 'tomorrow'.

I have lost some very good friends and have found others. I have also lost some not so good friends and found people to replace those as well. When I left the funeral, it was OK. It is hard to explain, but I was OK. I am happy with my life and where it is at. I am at peace with my family, those close to me and there are no regrets. I saw a lot of regrets yesterday. That was probably the hardest part for most, they weren't as sad about the passing of a friend, but were angry at themselves for all the 'should have's' and 'if only's'. To this point in my life, I can honestly say that the decisions I have made have been the right ones and I am at peace. Do you have any regrets? Any unspoken words of love, pain or angst? Any unreturned phone calls? Speak them now, for you never know which eggs aren't going to hatch in the morning..

So, this post isn't about my vacation, although my few days away helped my hubby and I see each other through new eyes. It was about death and a rebirth. The rebirth of my confidence. My understanding and comprehension that, in the words of Martha, my life is a 'good thing'.