Thursday, February 14

The birds, bees and aliens..

♥ ♥ ♥

Happy V-alien-tine's Day!
My son and I had quite the day yesterday! Well, let's start at the beginning.. The morning was a flurry of neon green cardstock and coordinating 'alien' green pipecleaners. Together we made 60+ v-alien-tines for his classmates and his teachers. Aren't they just the cutest? Not the traditional take on a valentine, but too cute to pass up. I got the idea from a Family Fun magazine, and since we had yet another snowday, it was a good craft idea. Ok.. shoot forward eight hours.. the family's is sitting watching Wheel of Fortune (one of my MIL's favorites, so we all watch..) and a commercial comes on for Pro-Life. A young woman sits beside her sleeping son, saying how she was so scared to tell grandma and grandpa about being pregnant with him, blah, blah, but she doesn't know what she would do without him now.. Well, Z (nine years old) doesn't get it.

"That's a strange commercial."

"Well, she got pregnant as a teenager and she choose to kept her baby." I said too much right there. It was all over. the birds and bees came at us like a storm of locusts!

"J has to have a baby now." he says. J is his almost seventeen year old sister from his father.

"J's pregnant???" I shout.

"No! But she's held hands with her boyfriend and kissed him, so they have to have a baby now." Alright, he is a VERY intelligent 9 year old, skipped a grade, yada, yada, yada, but he still believes in Santa, and he thinks by kissing someone, that's how the sperm gets in there. (or should I say 'thought'.) The conversation progressed, (with my MIL and hubby laughing and grimacing the entire time) and he now knows a certain item has to be inserted in a certain place for things to happen. The poor kid. I didn't want him to think that by kissing a girl, she would get pregnant! My parents never spoke to me about anything along this subjest matter, and I probably said more than I should, but the birds and bees are natural, and they led to some other 'insightful' bits of info.. for example, I now know he learned the 'c' word on the bus.. well, they told him it ended with a 'd' instead of 't".

When he asked me what it meant, I told him, "Well, I guess, it's a very, very bad slang word for 'vagina'."

He thought that was HYSTERICAL! He said, "They are calling women VAGINAS!!??"

It tickled him pink! Now, you might think I am crazy for talking to him like this, but communication to me is the most important thing you can encourage in your children. I want my son to be able to tell me ANYTHING, without the fear of being punished or ridiculed. He also asked me what being 'gay' was, and about 'periods', having heard both of these terms lately. So I told him. He might be young, but he is with older kids all day, and it's better to know the true, proper meaning and not the sometimes very twisted and misinterpreted definition that other children can come up with.

So, Happy V-alien-tine's Day, Dear Friends! It is the season of love, passion and s-e-x. (And a very endless list of questions coming from little eyes and ears that watch constantly!)

♥ ♥ ♥

(the above three images are copyright free clipart.. take them and ravage them!)


Tara said...


Love the Valentine idea, a different take!The class must have loved it!
How appropriate the birds and bees discussion came up Valentine's Eve...your son suonds like such a cutie!

Anonymous said...

I agree totally with you. Keep the lines of communication open. Good job!!!
Love the Valentine's, Janie

Holly (Nickname) said...

Happy Valentine's day to you, Abbie!
Love is in the air!
xxxooo Ruth

Rosie's Whimsy said...

Way to go, Mom, on the birds and bees talk. Seems like TV or a movie was always the catalyst for telling my kids more about that subject (drugs, smoking, drinking)....usually a step at a time.....seemed easier that way ;-)

I love the aliens idea.....such fun!

Have a Sweet Valentine's Day :-) Rosie

Sherry said...

ROFL!!! You have to speak in plain English to children -- it's a must. They need to hear the right words, even if they laugh let's face it vagina is a funny word, but then again, so is penis. But I laughed because you say "one" thing and that one thing opens the whole pandora's box!! Ah children!!

Love the alien valentine's (and that you all watch Wheel of Fortune!! My MIL loves that one too!!!!!) :)

JeannieTheDreamer said...

oh Abbie! you're a great mom:)

Rita Weiss said...

Oh, how I love your V-Alien-Tines!...and I totally LOVE how you handled the questions from your son. My son is 9 and I am just waiting for them to start. I look forward to honesty as well. As hard is it may be. Good for you. Great post Abbie :)

Rhondamum said...

That was too funny! I can't stop laughing. I think you handled this situation very well and I am not at all surprised. It is obvious what a good mother and person you are.

I don't mean to be obscene, tasteless, etc. but the part where you mentioned it "tickled him pink" is when I really started to laugh. Funny choice of words there Abbie!

I hope it is a long time before my six year old starts to ask me questions. I try to handle things in a positive way and not treat things like they are so "bad". I explained how she was made by telling her "It's kinda like God takes papa play dough and mama play dough and mixes them together". Seemed appropriate at the time. She has the "female" questions for now. "Mama, what is this big q-tip (tampon) for?"

Thanks for sharing your story!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Yes, wasn't yesterday beautiful?! Hope that its memory takes us through the next rough patch. :>

I have a little surprise for you at my blog this morning...

Dena ~ swaddlecottage said...

Hi Abbie,

First, I love the alien valentines! That is so origional and creative! I'm with you on direct communication. I've always felt that way with our boys and it's the way I was raised too. It is so important for them to hear it clearly from us first. The "d" replacement is a perfect example of why! LOL! I still used cutsie names for certain "parts" and boy did I ever learn from that mistake. My oldest came hollering one day "ewwwww!!!! That's so gross!" When I asked him what the matter was, he said that there were toys called "weebles" welp, guess I picked the wrong cutsie word and that was the end of that! Of course direct communications have there drawbacks too because my 22 year old Goddaughter still refers to a certain part as a "China". Good grief, there is no easy way out on that stuff is there? LOL!


Mary said...

Hi Abbie,
Love the V-alien-tines! What a great idea.

Kids are such fun, aren't they? When my daughter was very young, she saw some sanitary pads in the drug store and asked me, VERY LOUDLY, if I needed to get some "Mommy diapers!" So yes, proper terms are a good idea. :)

Caron said...

I'll have to make sure J sees this post! She'd have a whole brood by now if kissing made you pregnant! Funny stuff! Just think what M will be bombarded with next time Z is with him. Keep it honest and concise and only answer the questions they ask. You're doing a great job!

Chris@Cats On My Quilts said...

Hi Abbie-thanks for visiting my blog. It'll take me a while to catch up on yours. It's good to "meet" another New Hampshireite!

Sunnispace said...

Hilarious! We've been having very similar conversations with my 8 year old (check out my post "concept of art") I can't believe you are too! Well, maybe everyone is who had kids at this age...

Love the aliens!

Amber said...

I'm very open w/ Bubba, at 2 1/2 she knew vagina (gaginaaa) and let me tell you how funny a visit to the gyn is with a 3 year old that knows your "parts"! Mama, why dat lady poking your gaginaaa? I almost fell off the table.